For you I’d bleed myself dry

So I’m at my lake house right now.

I’m so happy to be here. I needed to get out of atlanta and experience more of a sober, stable lifestyle. I’ve been house hopping, getting high/buzzed, fighting with my parents, feeling SO alone, pathetic and stupid. Not to mention my anxiety attacks at least twice a day- last night was the worst. But I got the love of my life back. Which makes me over the moon, I’ve missed him so much. If he’s ever ready to be with me I’m here, but just the opportunity to be in his life is amazing. I love him so much.

I’m also obsessed with getting buzzed…high…etc. I’m looking forward to a calm, stable, sober week with my cousins and my aunts and uncles and grandparents to get my head together. Driving around the lake, tanning, just chilling in general. No cigs, weed, bars… nothing.

I’m still having problems with my step dad… We’re never going to get along. To him I’m just a pathetic, bitchy, stupid girl. And to me he’s an ignorant, condescending asshole who needs to grow up. But i’ll just ignore him. I’m not letting him ruin this week for me.

I wouldn’t rather be anywhere else than here with my family. No one can make me laugh and feel surrounded by love like they can. I never feel alone when I’m here. That’s the best part.

We’re spreading Uncle Dave’s ashes tomorrow… I honestly don’t know how that’s gonna go. But no matter what I wont be alone. We’ll all be supporting each other together, as a family. I couldn’t be more grateful right now.